Wednesday, November 29, 2006

attitude part 2



Now you see, this picture always makes me laugh.
Here are three women in the same spot -- it's a hot sunny day in Italy, but it is a bit damp just here, in the spray of the waterfall.

You can obviously choose to focus on the dampness, or not, in B's case.

Bless her, like I said at the wedding, she always puts her face up to the elements!

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Where There is Light

I'm going to post some quotations from Paramahansa Yogananda's book "Where There Is Light" which is a collection of short texts mostly derived from his longer books.

The first one is from the section called Rising Above Suffering.
  • You heighten suffering by imagination. Worrying or feeling sorry for yourself won't heal your pain, but rather increase it. For instance, someone wrongs you, you dwell on it, and your friends talk about it and sympathise with you. The more you think about it the more you magnify your hurt and your suffering.

I agree with this. It is one reason why I don't like to tell ppl when things have been bad, cos it sort of repeats the whole thing - allows it more head-space and gives it more power.

Yesterday I felt myself slipping into self-pity, I kept thinking about where I was sore. Trying to take my mind off it and do something else really did reduce the pain and re-reading this book has helped me to build my mental strength.

I also started worrying about what the radiation is doing to my insides and what the long-term effects of it might be. I think this quotation helps me to stop doing that. Imagination is a pointless thing in this situation. This is one reason why I don't read many of the pages about cancer and stuff, cos it puts ideas into my head about how bad things might be, which I am better off not thinking about.

This also applies to fear of death .. I hope my friends and relatives can restrict their imaginations. Don't waste time imagining grieving for me, when, let's face it, I'm still here!! Save it for the funeral.

I loved it when Julie sent me a postcard of Pink's album, cos the title is "I'm not dead" -- which I'm not ...

There is no sense in worrying about my demise any more than there is in worrying about anyone's. We're all mortal, we'll all die. Are we going to use our imaginations to worry about that or just get on with the day to day of what we have?

Enjoy every minute for itself.

The sun is shining.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Aunty Barbara's

Thought for the day -

  • "A butterfly counts not months but moments and has time enough. "
  • Rabindranath Tagore

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

teaching

OK - I know this is going a bit off the point, but teaching is so central to me I just need to share this ... even tho I admit I can be a bit sentimental about teaching, I'll make no more apology for it.

Thanks to Anne Calico for sending me this lovely thing ...

  • On my wall - by Julian of Norwich (who was a nun in the Middle Ages, or around then).
  • This is what you do when you teach.


    Be a gardener.

    Dig a ditch,

    toil and sweat,

    and turn the earth upside down

    and seek the deepness

    and water the plants in time.

    Continue this labour

    and make sweet floods to run

    and noble and abundant fruits

    to spring.

    Take this food and drink

    and carry it to God

    as your true worship.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Remembrance Sunday

No Ordinary Sunday

No ordinary Sunday. First the light
Falling dead through dormitory windows blind
With fog; and then, at breakfast, every plate
Stained with the small, red cotton flower; and no
Sixpence for pocket-money. Greatcoats, lined
By the right, marched from their pegs, with slow
Poppy fires smouldering in one lapel
To light us through the fallen cloud. Behind
That handkerchief sobbed the quick Sunday bell.

A granite cross, the school field underfoot,
Inaudible prayers, hymn-sheets that stirred
Too loudly in the hand. When hymns ran out,
Silence, like silt, lay round so wide and deep
It seemed that winter held its breath. We heard
Only the river talking in its sleep:
Until the bugler flexed his lips, and sound
Cutting the fog cleanly like a bird,
Circled and sang out over the bandaged ground.

Then, low-voiced, the headmaster called the roll
Of those who could not answer; every name
Suffixed with honour—‘double first’, ‘kept goal
For Cambridge’—and a death—in spitfires, tanks,
And ships torpedoed. At his call there came
Through the mist blond heroes in broad ranks
With rainbows struggling on their chests. Ahead
Of us, in strict step, as we idled home
Marched the formations of the towering dead.

November again, and the bugles blown
In a tropical Holy Trinity,
The heroes today stand further off, grown
Smaller but distinct. They flash no medals, keep
No ranks: through Last Post and Reveille
Their chins loll on their chests, like birds asleep.
Only when the long, last note ascends
Upon the wings of kites, some two or three
Look up: and have the faces of my friends.

Jon Stallworthy

Friday, November 10, 2006

good or bad

I had a long phone call with Anadi today. It was very helpful, it seems to me that she called at a time when I really needed her, as I was quite shaky and stressed this week.

She says I must carry on being one of the people who can see the good even in bad situations and avoid being one of the people who manage to see bad even in good situations.

She also says I am like a lotus blossoming (not mud).

I have also been reminded of how great my friends are, the kindness and love that people are extending to me is a precious gift and I am grateful for how lovely, and consistently thoughtful, my friends are.

I also had a good talk with Lezli today. Partly we were thinking about reciprocity and how things you give out come back at you. I think many of us are engaged in that cycle of giving and sharing and then being able to accept kindness "back" in some form. I see a lot of kindness and generosity around me, and am happy to be a part of that society.

I also continue to believe in that power of the kind thoughts and prayers that people are sending to me (both intimate family, friends and relative strangers such as people B works with or e-mates from tinternet). These cumulative "well-wishes" are helping and healing me.

Thank-you to all who are taking part in that. I appreciate it very much - you are good!

Monday, November 06, 2006

attitude

My cousin Pauline sent me this, which I think is very true:

  • ATTITUDE
  • "The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people say or do.
  • It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.
  • We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The one thing we can do is play on our string we have, and that is OUR attitude.
  • I am convinced that life is 10 per cent what happens to me and 90 per cent how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our ATTITUDES!"
  • written by Charles Swindoll.

hope

B and I got cards from an old friend, Paul, last week.

He had copied out a bit of an Emily Dickinson poem for me, which I thought was very sweet. He perhaps wouldn't know that Emily Dickinson was one of my favourite poets for ages, and I got my best ever essay comments as uni for an essay I wrote on her.

I think the whole poem is worth a thought:

  • "Hope" is the thing with feathers
  • That perches in the soul
  • And sings the tune without the words
  • And never stops at all,
  • And sweetest in the gale is heard;
  • And sore must be the storm
  • That could abash the little bird
  • That kept so many warm.

  • I've heard it in the chillest land
  • And on the strangest sea,
  • Yet never, in extremity,
  • It asked a crumb of me.